To Begin

The beginning is always the hardest part.

But it must be done.

 

I’ve always known, somehow instinctively, that I was different – beyond the “you’re just unique” sort of way. No, I was (and still am) different from most people in some fundamental and intangible way. I am the perpetual foreigner, the outsider looking in, the one who never really got the memo on how the world works. And for most of my life, I was an enigma even to myself.

But all of that changed when I first learned about Asperger’s Syndrome. What started as simple curiosity quickly turned into a ravenous devouring of information as I realized that I was reading about myself. My lack of social skills, clumsiness, obsessive interests, uneven cognitive abilities, and communication issues were all explained by AS. I started to accept that I’m not wrong or messed up – I’m just different. Currently, I’m self-diagnosed but am working towards getting an official diagnosis. It takes time.

What you’ll find here is a collection of my thoughts and experiences as a young autistic woman. I’m trying to make sense of the 22 years I spent on this planet not knowing that I am neurologically different from most people. Hence the name of this blog – I’m coming out of the obscurity that pervaded most of my life and into understanding and acceptance. Reading the blogs of other autistic adults has been instrumental in my journey towards a better existence. If reading my thoughts can help anyone feel a bit more understood and a bit less alone, then I would be very happy.

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